Just Kill Me Now

Moses. I really like this guy. He wasn’t perfect, yet he desired to follow God and see His glory. He was given the honor of speaking face to face with God. And here in the book of Numbers, he recorded how he cried out to God.

“So Moses said to the LORD, ‘Why hast Thou been so hard on Thy servant? And why have I not found favor in Thy sight, that Thou hast laid the burden of all this people on me? Was it I who conceived all this people? Was it I who brought them forth, that Thou shouldest say to me, ‘Carry them in your bosom as a nurse carries a nursing infant, to the land which Thou didst swear to their fathers’? Where am I to get meat to give to all this people? For they weep before me, saying, ‘Give us meat that we may eat!’ I alone am not able to carry all this people, because it is too burdensome for me. So if Thou art going to deal thus with me, please kill me at once, if I have found favor in Thy sight, and do not let me see my wretchedness.'” ~ Numbers 11:11-15

Remember, the people had complained and whined about returning to Egypt. This had greatly angered the LORD, and Moses had prayed on behalf of the people that God might spare them from His wrath. But then Moses cried out to God on his own behalf.

I think it is interesting to note that Moses sounded at first like he was complaining, but he was actually speaking what was on his heart, and his heart must have been right before God. He was not questioning God’s ability or authority. He was simply informing God that he was at the end of his rope!

I love how he asks God to just kill him now! How many times have I been so overwhelmed with burdens in my own life, that I have cried out desperately to God from my own heart, and asked if perhaps I could just die. Yes, a bit of a “poor me” pity party, but also a cry for help born out of true despair and exhaustion.

God looks at our hearts. “But the LORD said unto Samuel, ‘Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for [the LORD seeth] not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.'” ~ 1 Samuel 16:7 (KJV)

If our hearts are right, then we can come and lay out our desperate whines and pleas and “just kill me now” kinds of prayers. Jesus became a man and experienced what we experience. God understands that sometimes things are too much for us to bear. “‘Come unto me, all [ye] that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke [is] easy, and my burden is light.'” ~ Matthew 11:28-30 (KJV)

Moses wrote later in the chapter how God answered his prayer. God promises to help us bear our burdens. And He always keeps His Word!

“Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.” ~ 1 Peter 5:7 (KJV)

This entry was posted in Egypt, February 2012, God's Faithfulness, God's Promises, Israel, Jesus, Moses, Numbers. Bookmark the permalink.

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